…With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. —Matthew 19:26
We hear a lot about “becoming” these days. What comes to mind when you think about who you are becoming as your children are becoming young adults?
For me, becoming is about a growth mindset. Simply put, it’s about adopting a viewpoint toward learning and resilience as we move through all the seasons of life. When we continue to have dreams, set goals, and have intentions about the possibilities of what could be, we position ourselves for a full life in Christ. Being purposeful to move toward spiritual growth, personal development, and the support of others will allow you to flourish in all God has created you to be. This process happens in both solitude and in community.
In my own process of becoming, I’ve had to slow down, particularly in this last year. Slow is not in my DNA. It actually pains me to say it because I have always been a woman of action, achievement, and results—a “hand to the plow” kind of girl.
I have an insightful and life-giving coach who has guided me for over three years. In one of our sessions, we talked about the concept of slowing down, quietness, and reflection. She asked me a question, “Do you believe there could be multiplication (increase, compounding effect) in the slowing down process?”
At the time, it made absolutely no sense to me. We discussed the topic at length, and I agreed to experiment with the concept. As I began to adopt the practice of slowing life down, the more I saw my life begin to expand. Writing this book, opening a coaching practice, creating workshops, finding new ways to lead my network marketing team, and hosting online book studies were all little births exploding inside of me looking for expression.
As excited as I was in these new beginnings, I also struggled with my inner critic of doubt. What I found helpful was to verbalize to my coach, my friends, my husband, and even my kids what negative thoughts were hampering my actions to keep going. We all know it is a battlefield of the mind as we venture into something new, something we are creating. Can I really do this? What will people think of me? Do I have what it takes to build a business? What will I do when my children leave home, and will we still be close? She is so much better at this than me. I can’t compete with her.
Fortunately, the gift of reflection entered my life, and I learned to overcome the critical mindset and challenges I see so many facing, including myself. With the love, support, and encouragement of my husband, friends, and team members, I moved forward. Spending time daily and extended time monthly, I thought through what God was teaching me, what I was applying, and what I could do differently to achieve my intentions.
Today, with God’s help, I continue to build my businesses with a strong mental attitude. I ask myself better questions that will serve the Lord, others, and myself well. He has used all my experiences to help me grow in ways I would not have considered in the past.
When you become an empty nester or pre-empty nester, you will have more time on your hands to pursue the things, ideas, businesses, hobbies, and passions you have dreamed about. As I raised my children and homeschooled them through the seventh grade, I owned and operated my own business. I had a competent team of people who worked for me, so I could teach my children and give them the best of my day, which was important to me.
A few months after my daughter left to pursue her acting dream in New York City, the Lord began to stir my heart concerning what I love to do and what I was most passionate about. As I spent quiet, restful time with him, here is what emerged. I focused on four things I do naturally and have a passion for: equipping, giving, freedom, and family. I am all about equipping others. I have a heart to give abundantly. I love seeing people become free from emotional bondage through spiritual principles and truths. And my family is my top priority.
I particularly love introducing spiritual and emotional freedom to others and watching them take steps toward detachment from the things that hold them back both personally and professionally. Growing up in an alcoholic home made me a candidate for all kinds of dysfunctional behavior. Most of my teenage years were spent partying with friends and staying away from home. Then there was college. I spent a year at the Fashion Institute of Technology in NYC. I learned some great things about buying and merchandising, but I decided that was not for me. I left New Jersey and headed west to California to be near my brother. At nineteen, I packed everything I owned into two bags, bought a one-way ticket, and left for a greater adventure in life. Because of that choice, I found my own personal and spiritual freedom through a relationship with Jesus. Finding Christ enabled me to discover a trust and a love that only He can provide.
Now, I love my family and support them in the best possible way. I inquire of the Lord frequently how to love them best, so they feel accepted by me. I am grateful that I have healthy relationships with both my children. This came because of intentional and courageous conversations, deciding to listen first before sharing my perspectives, and patience with their own life journey, allowing them to figure out what was best for their lives.
Today, my heart’s desire is to continue becoming an influential world changer for Jesus. I do my best to pay attention daily to the people who God puts in my path. This may be connecting someone to a small group at church, referring my hair stylist, or teaching someone how to add an additional stream of income to their budget. I may offer to mentor a young girl, ask a single mom to coffee who just moved here, or lead a young, single pregnant woman to the Lord at the New Orleans airport. Paying attention and staying aware have helped me make an impact on the world around me.
Writing this book was never on my radar; but God asked, and I said “yes.” I am becoming a writer. Though my heart never entertained authorship, I am ardent about equipping others on their venture through life. Writing has been an indispensable tool. I am grateful for the experience, and I have gained so much in the process.
Becoming is never about the destination, it is always about the journey. What about you? Who are you becoming in this season of life? Are you ready?
Who are you becoming? How are you making a difference and influencing those around you each and every day?